AHI is not about building an impressive school campus or extensive building projects. As we continue to grow, reach our goals of sustainability and touch the lives of others, AHI’s long term vision for the future is to create a simple, highly impacting model that can be duplicated with other mission organizations throughout Africa.

 We invite you to join AHI in providing young people with creative tools to help themselves as well as their families, communities and country….

                                                                                                And to change the world, one child at a time.

Quotes used at Neighborhood Chrisitan Church:

May 22, 2008

 “Commit your ways to the Lord, trust in Him and He will do this”. Psalms 37:5

“….that they all may be made one, as You Father, are in Me and I in You; that they also may be one in Us.” John 17:21

I have been through something here in Africa – a battle, a fire, a test, a choice. The last few months have been difficult. Living and working in a small isolated community often leads to conflict and disagreements. Daily we are faced with choices that will impact how we live together. Shall I love, striving to live in harmony or shall I nurse my bruised ego, feed my anger and grow bitter. I have found in my own life that ‘Bitterness’ is a ‘choice’ I dwell in when I decide not to trust God and doubt that He ‘will do this’ and, that it is up to me to make ‘this’ happen. I have also learned that this choice moves me out of the will of God to be ‘made one with the Father and Son’.

Having just recently journeyed into the Land of Disappointment and Unmet Expectations within my community, God clearly laid before me a choice, to dwell in bitterness, holding tight to my anger and self-righteousness, believing that ‘my way’ was right and someone else was ‘wrong’. My Abba made it clear that this choice feels more powerful and in control, but would only lead to further division, more anger, self-righteousness and destruction – out of God’s will and into the Enemy’s grip of despair. He then revealed His Way, humiliating and powerless; where I could choose a more ‘healing path’, where I became one with the Father and Son, where I choose to live in the tension of God’s ‘Gracious Uncertainty’ – accepting that I know little other than God is in control and I am commanded to love my neighbor, where Jesus throws together tax collector and zealots to live, love and worship Him with one heart. Where, as a Follower of Jesus, I must  give up [sacrifice] my ‘rights’ and my ‘way’, where I forgive and ask for forgiveness; making the prayer of unity with my neighbors and my relationship with God my only desire, committing my way to the Lord and trusting in Him to do ‘this’  within our community at the ranch.

It was not an easily won battle. I knew I was ‘right’! I knew I had reason to be angry. But God kept whispering in my ear, wooing my heart. “Maggie, might it be possible that your choice to cling to ‘your way’ and ‘being right’ is causing more damage and disunity than if you were to take the path of healing and let God ‘do this’? Might it be that I, your God, have not ordained you to be ‘judge’ and that as long as you remain angry and ‘right’, you will never have an opportunity to speak bold love or truth into lives of those you live and work with? Might it be that I, your God, am calling you to a much higher calling - to be a forgiving and forgiven Prophet; a Dependent, Grace-filled Prayer Warrior, who is trusting God  ‘to do this’ - for miracles in the hearts of my children?”

Then, I read from the Voice Project as spoken by John in The Last Eyewitness: The Final Week:

“Can you imagine what it would feel like to have Jesus [the creative force behind the entire cosmos] wash your feet? … My life changed that day; there was a new clarity about how I was supposed to live. I saw the world in a totally new way. The dirt, the grime, sin, pain, rebellion and torment around me were no longer an impediment to the spiritual path – it was the path.

Where I saw pain and filth - [people who hurt and disappoint me] – I found an opportunity to extend God’s kingdom through an expression of love, humility, and service. This simple act is a metaphor for the lens that Christ gives us to see the cosmos. He sees the people, the world He created – which He loves - He sees the filth, the corruption in the world that torments us. His mission is to cleanse [not condemn or judge] those He loves from the horrors that torment them. This is His redemptive work with feet, families, [ministries, communities] disease, famine and our hearts.

So many of you [me] have missed the heart of the gospel and Christ’s example. When you see sin exposed in people, you shake your head and think how sad it is. Or worse you look down at these people for their rejection of God, lack of understanding, and poor morals. This is not the way of Christ. When Christ saw disease, He saw the opportunity to heal. Where He saw sin, He saw a chance to forgive and redeem. When He saw dirty feet, He saw a chance to wash them.”

The choices we make are cataclysmic to the Kingdom of God. Can you hear the Angels holding their breath as they watch us decide which path to follow? I pray that we are filled with Grace in all of our relationships. I pray for unity in each of our endeavors so that we reflect Jesus in our love to one another [really does much else matter?]. And I pray that as we struggle through this choice of ‘Your Will Lord, not mine’, choosing to live in God’s wild unknown with abandon and ‘reckless confidence’, we will hear the laughter and delight of our Abba as we lay down our rights, pick up our cross and follow his Son in the choices we make.

Desperately need your prayers. See you in August. Love you all, m

PS> I just had a huge monkey run by my house!!

I hope everyone was able to receive our last update with the pictures of students – the fruit you all are growing here in Uganda. The school has been a marvelous addition to African Hospitality Institute. Just simple things like morning fellowship with praise and worship gets all of us grounded and reminded of why we are here.

I also could use your prayers. Getting the school up and running while operating the Guesthouse has been exhausting. Spiritual warfare seems to be at an all time high. I nearly lost it this week. Easter is a difficult time for me as it triggers many flashbacks to the religious and violent pornographic abuse of my youth where ‘Jesus’ was often my rapist. It is an emotionally vulnerable time for me. As often happens here, the internet quit at a time when I was in an important discussion on financials with African Children’s Mission, our parent organization. The partial bits of information I was able to receive left me in a raging panic and my initial responses were immature and out of control.  Mary and Wayne Daniel were also scheduled to arrive back in Africa after a six month leave. Fear and imagination are toxic partners. It’s as if the enemy was deliberately trying to create division and disunity among us.  I knew I was loosing it, so even in my over reactive anger, unable to sleep for days, I was praying through clenched teeth, “and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  Match that up to other current events in Uganda and you’ll understand why I am desperate for your prayer cover.

The turmoil in Kenya has had quite an impact. For months we have been stunned and saddened by the tribal hatred that has sparked the insanity of Kenyans killing one another. It feels as if it has exposed a deeper infection of the same tribal division in Uganda. I can only wonder what is going to happen here in a few years if it is not addressed. Prices have skyrocketed in part because our supplies come from the coast and couldn’t drive through Kenya – and in part by people who have taken advantage and exploited a disaster. Shopping for supplies is stressful – shelves are either empty or overpriced. I had to buy a battery for one of the guestroom solar units – 3 of the stores were out of stock. The one store that had a battery wanted me to pay twice as much as it should cost. All I could say was, “You must not want to make a sale today. I may be a white woman, but I am not stupid.”

 Uganda feels less stable, less safe. I just received an email from a friend here that reports recent rapes of young white women who frequent some of the local pubs and theft rings focused around ATM machines. Our pothole roads are finally being repaired only to unleash the craziness of ‘having to drive as fast as possible’. Last month we witnessed a truck flip as it tried to pass a speeding bus. This week, we passed a truck up in flames – driving recklessly fast, it smashed into one of the road repair tractors, instantly killing the  tractor driver and smashing the large tractor into little pieces. I heard yesterday, the other road workers were so incensed that they set the cab of the overturned truck on fire, most likely with the driver still inside. The electricity and internet are sporadic again, down more than up – which in itself incredibly frustrating, but even more so since the battery to my laptop decided to quit and barely can hold a half hour charge.

It is wild. I have such a strong sense of knowing that this is where I belong and I see daily the impact we are having on not only with staff and students, but with the community. I was told by a herdsman that they consider me a ‘friend of Africans’, [meaning I have passed a test proving I am not one of the disliked ‘colonial white missionaries’]. As a ‘white’ running an organization I am placed in a position of power and authority – ‘Yes, ‘Mommy’ is doing well’, according to this herdsman – yet, I live in a constant state of helplessness. Usually as soon as I start to feel a bit confident, something big breaks, like a water pump or solar or there is a huge cultural misunderstanding with staff – leaving me overwhelmed and uncertain. This week I seriously began doubting myself and this call to Africa. It has been an absolutely horrible, terrible week.

God in his graciousness brought the Daniels safely back to Uganda. Each of us, committed to making our relationship personally and professionally work, have been able to diffuse my anger and ground me back into reality. I am finally feeling more sane and excited about another team of Eastside volunteers coming to work with us. They arrive tonight. Again God’s timing is brilliant. This is a group of wonderful Christian business women – they’ve designed a course to teach our staff and students how ‘to open a restaurant’, discussing business plans, to hiring employees, to securing funds and restaurant management practices. God continues to do more than I ever imagined or expected. Thank you for your prayers, I desperately need them. With love, maggie

“There are no ‘mere’ men. Moral splendor comes with the gift of life. Each person has within him a vast potentiality for identification, dedication, strength to feel human oneness and act upon it. The tragedy of life is not in the fact of death but in what dies inside us while we live.” Norman Cousins

The mind is an amazing computer, consisting of 2 parts. In the front of the brain is the neocortex which serves your higher level thinking functions such as control impulses, making decisions or plans, staying focused. It receives stores and organizes information. In the center of the brain is the little walnut shaped limbic system which sets the emotional tone of your mind. This is the survival fight or flight system that affects how you behave; this is where memories of trauma are held. The limbic system differs from the neocortex, it isn’t able to organize memories or differentiate between yesterday and say 40 years ago. [Going Deeper] Recalling memories can feel just the same as if it was happening today - which helped to explain the many addictions I used to avoid my feelings. I didn’t understand that there were healthy ways to resolve fear and trauma. I thought I was crazy.

Healthy resolution doesn’t mean easy though. And, yes participating in therapy has felt much like brain surgery with out anesthesia. Coming out of denial and facing the reality of my life – the harm done to me and the harm I have done to others - has been brutal. Abuse, neglect or extreme poverty stunts you emotionally, holding you hostage to immature, selfish and childish behaviors. It is so embarrassing to have a 2 year old temper tantrum in a 40 year old body.  Over the years it has been frustrating and humbling to watch my ways of coping with pain rule my life. “Let’s have an affair, or a drink or a piece of cake or any other self-destructive behavior and if that doesn’t work, well, there is always shopping! Anything but feel and face my own truth.

Yet, I really did want a story that had purpose and meaning, a story that was not lived out in the random circumstances of my life. In a safe therapeutic environment I was able to slowly walk through many of the developmental tasks I missed in my youth – learning how to bond with others, to have boundaries, to live with ambiguity, integrating good and bad, and take responsibility for my own life. The process feels endless; growing up is difficult as a child and downright painful in mid-life. Now, even after years and years of therapy, I often feel like a child trapped in an old woman’s body.

Unlike the typical missionary, I moved to Uganda for purely selfish reasons, struggling with my own sense of being lost and hopeless, I was scared stiff that if I didn’t do something drastic with my life, I would end up dying as one of those lonely, isolated old women in a tiny, forsaken apartment with a hundred cats. In 2002, six years ago almost to the month, I heard God whisper, ‘Africa’. At times now I question whether I heard Him right or that I needed to be quite so drastic. Struggling with the constant dirt and challenges of running a guesthouse in the middle of no where – the water pump is broken, the solar isn’t working, the refrigerator isn’t cold – I collapse at the end of a day, lonely and still crazy [but with only one cat, mind you]. In tears, I often wonder if this is worth it.

And, I don’t know if this is just more unhealthy grandiose thinking or if I am subconsciously driven by a need to create meaning out of my abuse and the cowardice I felt as a child, but I have always sensed a seed of greatness within my heart – that I was meant to be so much more than this fearful, cringing child-woman who can barely talk to a stranger without having a panic attack. I want to be ‘great’, a ‘hero’; a risk-taker who abandons all to make a dramatic difference in someone else’s life.

The concept of ‘hero’ has a lot of romantic notions of strength and power attached to it that Africa slapped out of me upon arrival. Quickly I learned that signing up for ‘hero’ is one of the more humiliating experiences of my life. I don’t have a clue what I am doing most of the time. I am childishly dependent upon my African friends and staff to merely survive out in the bush. I am in constant need of help and too stubborn or proud to ask. I am too terrified to drive and even more frightened to take public transport. I get lonely, but feel too shy to reach out to new friends.  My Ugandan staff is so soft spoken that I can barely hear them much less understand and I find myself embarrassed and exhausted over yet another cultural or purely dumb mistake.

But, no matter how hard I try, there is this little light of thought that burns bright in my heart. It’s not a new thought. 30 years ago when I owned my first restaurant, I had specific beliefs on leadership styles and management practices. I really believe that there is a seed of ‘greatness’ within all men and women. As a business owner, it is my obligation to develop that greatness in all of my employees; to treat them kindly, pay them fairly while offering them creative work within an environment of trust whereby they can become a part something big that will do good and outlast us all. [Steven Covey] I can’t believe that employees are robots that mindlessly leave behind their brain and life at the door upon arriving at work. I believe that our purposes go far beyond a business owner receiving a profit or an employee receiving a pay check. I believe that we, owners and staff alike, are blessed by serving others; and that as we are blessed we then become a channel to bless others. My restaurant business partners back in the early 1980’s thought I was insane if not downright dangerous. Businesses like Microsoft, Dell and Apple Computers have proven them wrong.

Now, I have tried to snuff out that light – for many years I refused to have partners or employees in the businesses I owned/managed. But here I am again – only its worse this time because now I have students as well as staff. Am I to neglect staff and only impact students? Wouldn’t that seed of greatness be found in each one if nurtured? And, even in a developing country where businesses are often corrupt, shouldn’t we, who know better, operate our organizations where personal responsibility in an environment of trust and a faith in people to want to reach for excellence replaces paternalistic forms of control and manipulation? Can we here in Africa, as well as the largest and most profitable business internationally, teach and expect our people to manage themselves, work well with one another and in time influence one another for ‘good’? 30 years later, people tell me these are still radical concepts. Yet, if I am not willing to risk, teach and model this idea, can I be anything more than another cog in a cruel system that is destroying the future.

Mahatma Gandhi said that “Poverty is the worst violence”.  The impact is certainly violent and far reaching.

“If we could shrink the size of the human population on earth to a village of precisely 100 people, with human ratios remaining the same, 70 [people] would be unable to read, 50 would be suffering from malnutrition, 80 would live in substandard housing, and only one would have a university education. [loyd Lewan, To Be a Leader]  

50 [people] would live on less than $2 a day, 25 on less than $1. [Chris Page, ‘Business, Poverty’s Long-term Solution”]

Poverty generates a ‘survival only’ victim mindset that traps people and countries within a vicious cycle of hopelessness, avoidance of responsibility, greed, mistrust and self-hate. Can I just read those statistics, shed a tear and move on to my next Latte? That dastardly ‘hero within’ demands action.

Some might say, “But why a vocational school? There are so many vocational schools in Africa.” The fact that there are so many vocational schools alone proves that something is wrong, something is missing. Might it be that helping young people break free from the poverty mindset and introducing them to ethical business values through education and modeling that perhaps vocational schools would have a greater impact? If we are not looking for greatness, how can we ever find it? I believe our approach of teaching a trade while mentoring minds and healing hearts within a successful, functioning business built on the values of respect and integrity will be that missing piece.

So the AHI staff, once considered ‘unskilled laborers’, has had to struggle through goal setting worksheets and sit through hours of training on shared values in a business culture, how freedom demands responsibility, how integrity demands accountability and years of doing mundane ordinary tasks repetitively – dishwashing, laundry, cleaning, slashing grass. They  have had to listen to my repeated mantras, ’Maggieism’, about living life deliberately, how their small choices will determine their future, how nothing is impossible unless you give up, and how empty life is without belonging to a community. Some still cling to their hopelessness, remaining victims.  With their shy smiles, most would say they are not the same person they were and are delighted with their growth and change. A few are preparing to be teachers for the next intake of students in February.

 For 2 years we have been talking about AHI as a Guesthouse / Vocational School. It’s one thing to talk about running a school. Talk is easy. But, to actually do it – needless to say I am my usual mess, sleepless nights, panic, doubt, sore knees. Another one of those – “God if you don’t show up and make this happen, all will be lost!”

Last Monday, student applicants were to arrive at 8 AM for their oral interviews. At 7:45, one boy had arrived. ‘What if nobody else shows up?’ Watching the looks of disappointment among the staff, I tried to look like the strong confident leader in spite of the fact I could no longer breathe.

BUT GOD. But God. The most incredible words. By 8:15, there were 10 more young people. By 8:30 there were over 20 applicants waiting to be interviewed. We ran out of application forms. We were overwhelmed. We were ecstatic.

I have been hearing for years that vocational schools are for ‘Academic failures’ – youth that can’t make it in traditional education. Not so, not so, not so – these young people were dressed ‘smartly’, they were sharp, alert, humorous with fine English speaking and writing skills. Each student was from a nearby village – unable to pursue education not from lack of academic achievement, but lack of money to pay for school fees. They were ‘deadly’ serious about this interview.

I sat in on several interviews as I wanted to get a sense of the students. The first young man was humble, articulate and concise. He had been abandoned by his mother and then rejected by his step-mother. He lived with his grandmother – earning a living by selling water he pumps for others. His grandfather is a witch doctor, who has been trying to lure him into his work. He struggles to hold onto the faith in Jesus his grandmother taught him. If not selected as an AHI student, all his future holds is trying to sell water and dig for food.

Another young woman surprised me with such a full understanding of the opportunity AHI is providing. She considered herself to not be merely a ‘job seeker’, but a ‘job creator’ and was determined not to miss out on this chance for hope. She was also quite concerned about the fact that AHI was only planning on taking 10 students – ‘how could that be since there were so many applicants?’ When asked what she would do if she was not accepted – she replied that she would reapply next year!

These young people were not dull, dim-witted or uneducated. To see that much giftedness – that much potential – ready to be devoured by poverty was startling. Having to pick only ten has been difficult. For all of us involved in the interview process, the experience – the weight of responsibility – vulnerable kids that are looking to us to help them create a future with possibilities and to not loose hope - was sobering. It was also magnificent. Is it worth it? Oh how I wish each one of you could come and visit and see for yourselves! Your action to support, to pray, to sacrifice and fight poverty through this simple vocational school may make all the difference in lives we never imagined we could touch. You are my ‘Heroes’.  I stand once again in awe at my God who loves us so much and will use even the most broken of us to bring hope and a future to others. Today it is so worth it.

Maggie Josiah with African Hospitality Institute, Uganda, East Africa

Talk given to Kirkland, WA Rotary Dinner, November 5, 2007

Mother Teresa once stated that:  “At the end of life, we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received; by how much money we have made; by how many great things we have done. We will be judged by, “I was hungry, and you gave me to eat, I was naked, and you clothed me, I was homeless and you took me in. Hungry not only for bread, but for love. Naked not only for lack of clothing, but for lack of human dignity and respect. Homeless, not only for want of shelter, but because of rejection.”    

A few months ago, after shopping for supplies in Kampala, I was stuck in traffic. I noticed in the distance a woman sitting on top of a mountain of garbage. She looked so stately, elegant. As we inched closer, I realized she was grey and stiff; she was dead, rigidly sitting on her throne of refuse; a throw away person. 

How many people will we throw away before we say ‘enough’?

I am not a traditional missionary. I am a business woman who has chosen to share her skills and knowledge in a developing country. I teach basic business principles. Principles of regarding an employee as a whole person, paying them fairly, treating them kindly while offering them creative opportunities whereby they can be a part of leaving a legacy to others. Our staff of unskilled laborers, who have lived most of their lives out in the bush of Africa, have had to learn and write our Mission Statement, our Purpose and methods to test whether we are fulfilling our purpose. I teach that our purpose goes far beyond them receiving a pay check. I teach that we are blessed by serving others; and that as we are blessed we then become a channel to bless others. These are radical concepts in developing countries that base business on corruption and greed. Radical concepts once understood and practiced tend to change the world.

For the next few minutes I would like to talk to you of story, of living life deliberately. I’d like to talk to you of white sheets and dirty feet and of overcoming evil with good. I would like to talk to you of changing the world.

I have heard it said that Evil counts on – literally depends upon the apathy of the powerful – of creating a false and overwhelming sense of powerlessness. Evil reigns the moment we think that a problem is too big for any one person to help overcome – especially if the evil is far away and distanced from our own lives. Today I would like to give a face to the victims of unspeakable horror. Through my own story I pray that none of us here will ever again be able to distance ourselves from the plight of our brothers and sisters throughout the world and to offer hope that by helping one, we help many. There are simple solutions to bring peace on earth, good will to man; to love our neighbors well.

We each have a story to share. My story began as one of violence and perversion.  Sexually abused by both my mom and dad, I was sold into child pornography and prostitution. I lived in a very schizophrenic world. On the outside we looked like a normal, high functioning middle class family. Behind the closed doors of our home were rage, horror and despair.

My first memories are of being raped by my father or sexually tortured by my mother who seemed to delight in inflicting pain. I believe the pornography started when I was very young – it seems there was always ‘a man with camera’ in my life. I lived my first 30 years wondering if today would be the day my parents would kill me. I have never known the protection of a father or the nurturing of a mother. I have often wondered if I would still be a prisoner of that terror had my father had not died 25 years ago.                                                     

Most of us who are used in pornography don’t escape. Most of us die young: drug overdose, AIDS, homicide, suicide. I am one of the privileged few who were given a second chance. The same year my father died I met a man named Jesus – and for the first time in my life, I came to understand that love was not a twisted perversion, but a gift that transforms.

I was fortunate in finding a gifted counselor who works with the severely abused. But even after years and years of therapy, I am still a very frightened woman, who struggles emotionally with the horrors of my past. I have not experienced a miracle of healing. The scars of my past haunt me; I suffer with chronic Post Traumatic Stress, flashbacks, my head screaming, rage and overwhelming sadness.

God seems to expose my weaknesses in order for me to learn that pain and sorrow, grief and tears are a part of my story. I have learned that I can use that pain ‘as fuel for this journey of life’, that it can motivate me to action in spite of my fears; that in spite of how difficult life is for me I can still make a difference in the lives of others.

Hurt people, hurt others. Healed people, heal others. Transformed people transform others.

The International Youth Foundation with The American Youth Policy Forum have found that young people are increasing as a percentage of the world’s population—the World Bank estimates that by 2010 the number of youth ages 15 to 24 will reach 1.8 billion. 1.5 billion will live in developing nations. These young people are a very vulnerable group. Many lack access to school and employment. They are at high risk of violence, crime, teen pregnancy, and diseases. Ron Israel of the Global Learning Group showed that in the poorest regions of the world, Africa, Central and South America, and the Middle East, anywhere from 30% to over 50% of young people are facing what he describes as ‘significant demographic stress’ - large numbers of young people ages 12 to 24 who are not completing primary school, are not literate, and lack employable skills.

Without hopeful life prospects and the means to financially support themselves, they often turn to harmful ways of creating income such as sex trafficking, drug trafficking, suicide bombings. Overwhelmed with envy, anger and hate, these are the terrorist of the future, becoming a violent threat to the established order in their country. Yet, with positive future prospects these young people can take a ‘critical role in rebuilding and stabilizing their countries’ which blesses all nations.

I have determined to be a transforming person. One person can make a difference. One person helping another can change the world. I am not Oprah, nor do I have the funds that Oprah has, but our small vocational school and guesthouse, African Hospitality Institute is having an impact.

The number of vulnerable children in Uganda due to AIDS, malaria and 40 years of civil wars is a crisis. Uganda’s population rate is the second highest in the world and increases at an alarming rate. Already 50% of the population is under the age of 15, with more than two million children orphaned. Uganda’s unemployment rate stands at 3.5%, meaning that there are over 50 applicants vying for one job opening – 390,000 job seekers will fight over the 8,000 jobs available each year.

A United Nations report recently reported on the critical impact that Tourism has upon the economic situation of a developing nation. Tourism may be one of its few viable industries. ‘By creating jobs, encouraging international travel and participating in global economics, sustainable tourism can play a significant role in a developing country’. Yet, one of the greatest drawbacks to creating stable tourism within a country is the lack of trained workers. Uganda not only lacks other industries but it is estimated that over 60% of employees in the Hospitality Industry are Kenyan, because Ugandans lack the skills to work in this vital and growing sector.

Vocational schools are the hope of tomorrow for the youth of Uganda. Currently, AHI is constructing a functional 10-room Guesthouse and Training Kitchen facility that cares for short-term mission volunteers as well as visitors seeking rest and comfort out in the bush of Uganda – all the while training and teaching young people employable skills in the Hospitality Industry. AHI is committed to help its students secure jobs upon graduation from our 2 year program. Our networking within the ex-pat communities and the hospitality industry has already created a waiting list of employers in search of ‘Trained and Trustworthy’ employees.

Teaching a skilled and employable trade is a practical solution in eliminating poverty. Teaching a skilled vocation combined with in-depth character development and life skills within an environment of trust and grace restores freedom, dignity and hope, providing tools to  help themselves and also their families, communities and country.

As a survivor of abuse, I am not teaching from a theoretical or even an idealistic position. I teach from a position of experience. I know the power of helping 'just one'. I was a ‘one’ that was helped and have shaped African Hospitality Institute with a full understanding of how trauma, poverty and abuse affects a child and with practical steps to help 'one' move from merely surviving to living a full life, a life of gratitude that benefits others.

Through education and the training of a skilled trade, built on a foundation of character, integrity and trust, many children will experience a productive future. When made available within a redemptive community of Christ-centered leadership, vocational schools offer the safety of a nurturing community where youths are also able to develop healthy, long-lasting relationships. In community these young people discover passion and the courage to change self-defeating behaviors; freeing them to step into their destiny and break free from the cycle of violence, anger and unemployment.

Today I would like to challenge each of you to look at your own stories and see how God can use it. I would like to invite you to become involved in investing into the lives of children in an even greater measure than you already are. For you see my neighbors in Uganda live in abject poverty. A good wage is to earn $1.00 day. I see daily such injustice. And, though I know and am grateful for the generosity of America and all that it does and gives to developing countries, I find myself asking if there might not be more that we can do.

The United Nations estimates that it would cost $30-$40 billion dollars to provide all people in developing countries with basic education, health care and clean water. They also state that the total market value of illicit human trafficking is estimated to be in excess of $32 billion dollars annually. In America alone, we spend each year $20 billion dollars on medical treatments for our cats and dogs, $30 billion on dieting and $40 billion dollars each year on Golf.

“The halting of evil begins with each individual, and then individual choices. The onset of righteousness begins one person at a time.” ‘We must resist evil with our lives.” [Mercy Ships]

I began my work in Africa because I wanted; no, I needed, to have my story end well. I wanted my story to have meaning and purpose and realized that I would have to be the one to create it.

 After years of therapy, my life was good but was really all about me, my comfort and my safety. I knew that I needed my life to be more than me. I wanted my life to count, to be a voice for the voiceless and to honor all of the other children who have been thrown away. I prayed for ‘radically different’.

I often find myself mumbling about ‘wanted radically different did you?’, as I pick bugs out of my hair and struggle with the constant dirt of living out in the bush of Africa. One evening after a long, hot and frustrating day, I crawled into bed and noticed how white my sheets were and how dirty my feet were..... 

 I am no saint, no Mother Teresa, just ask my staff. I often wonder what I am doing out in the bush, if it is worth the sacrafice; so I suppose white sheets and dirty feet have become a reminder of hope that one person can make a difference and the way I have chosen to resist evil with my life.

George Bernard Shaw once said: "This is the true joy in life: the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no 'brief candle' to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."

 There are many vocational schools in Africa. That fact proves that something is missing. Vocational schools should be having a greater impact. I believe our approach of teaching a trade while mentoring minds and healing hearts is that missing piece and that the ripple effect of helping 'just one' will be beyond our wildest imaginations. It has been true in my own life.

I encourage you to face your own white sheets and dirty feet, to resist evil with your life and become that splendid torch bringing God’s light to a world of darkness and pass on hope through your actions to the future. Together we can change the world.

CONTACT:

AFRICAN HOSPITALITY INSTITUTE, Uganda , East Africa

Email: ahi.uganda@yahoo.com

Web: www.acm-ea.org

Blog: www.tiptopwebsite.com/maggiejosiah

MAGGIE JOSIAH

CELL PHONE: 206-291-6297

maggiejosiah@infocom.co.ug

m.josiah@postmemail.net

WILDLY IMPORTANT GOALS FOR 2007

1. Define AHI Culture
2. Define AHI Vocational Student
3. Create Work Schedule / Task List to do for Oct – to Nov 2007
4. Define AHI Culture  [

    [Culture can be defined to mean: the day to day experience of the ordinary worker – that which makes the experience of working at one company different from doing the same thing at another company which offers similar services or products. ]

5. Leadership Style: Servant Leader, Team, Relational, and Decentralized: Do you understand these terms?
6. Discuss: Environment of Grace and Relationships of Trust, [ from the character ladder]Grace comes first. If we can feel ‘safe’ with one another and respect one another – then we will risk real relationships with one another where we can be honest about our weaknesses as well as our strengths – then we become a TEAM based on underlying principles of honesty, humility, other centeredness, mutual accountability, maturity and grace. [The Ascent of a Leader, Leadership Catalyst]

TRUST: T=Time = take time to listen and give feedback, = Respect=give respect, U=unconditional positive regard= show acceptance, S= sensitivity= anticipate the feelings and needs of others, T=touch= give encouragement [Maxwell]

3. Where do you see yourself on the ‘Character / Capacity Ladder’?
4. Learn and apply the ‘7 Habits’. Which of the habits come easily for you? Which are harder?
5. What are the most important values / issues you need from AHI? Discuss 8^th Habit: Whole Person: Body, Mind, Heart, Spirit; Body= Survival = To Live [Pay me fairly], Heart = relationships = To Love = Treat me kindly. Mind = growth and development = To Learn = Use me creatively, Spirit = Meaning and contribution = To leave a Legacy = in serving human needs in principled ways
6. What does AHI need from you?Positive attitude, trustworthy, self-motivated, loyalty, personal growth, leadership reproduction, creativity [John Maxwell]
7. Discuss / Clarify AHI Mission Statement:

AHI brings hope to people through the love of Jesus Christ by passing on skills of hospitality in the Service Sector.

6. Define your Job / role within AHI now.    Next year?

8. What are characteristics of a ‘good boss’? Know my heart, be loyal to me, be trustworthy, be discerning, have a servant’s heart, be a good thinker, be a finisher, have a heart for God. [Maxwell]

9. What does a healthy TEAM look like? Team members care for one another, know what is important [have a common goal], can communicate with each other[safe, positive without blame], are willing to struggle and grow together [teach and learn from one another], has an attitude of partnership and trust, place their individual rights beneath the best interest of the team, each member has a role that fits his talent and the needs of team, has a good bench [those learning],  knows where the team stands [what’s happening inside team], Willing to pay the price – sacrifice of time and energy to practice and prepare. [Maxwell: Developing Leaders Around You.]

10. What do we need to do now to become a TEAM?  How can we remain a ‘TEAM’?

DEFINE AHI STUDENT

1. Age: 17 – 25 yrs old
2. Education: P5 and up. Emphasis is on ability to communicate well in English with some reading and writing skills.
3. Area of Operation: Only from our local parish for 2008
4. Sex: Coed – with emphasis on equal opportunities and job skills for both sexes
5. Characteristics of potential student
6. Characteristics of graduate student:
7. Student Logo or identity slogan: DBL. T = +rustworthy and +rained
8. Discussion / comments on Application form and Interview Questions?
9. Selection of Interviewers for AHI students? Back ground Checkers?
10.  Determine cost per student for donor sponsorship. What does that include?
11. Curriculum:
12. How do we teach?  Model, Mentor, Motivate, Multiply [research shows we only remember 10% of what we hear,50% of what we see, 70% of what we say, 90% of what we hear, see say and do] [Maxwell]
13. Create 2007 Work Schedule and Task List
14. List tasks to be done:
15. employment contracts and applications completed
5. organized inventories completed
6. recipe files completed
7. outdoor project tic list
8. seminar with David from Asset for teacher training
9. seminar with Stone?
10. YTD Quarterly Financial review completed
11. Solar at Conference Center installed
12. Solar at Guesthouse wired
13. Order desks for offices at Conference Center and Student desks?
14. Cleaning of Conference Center for transfer of equipment and supplies
15. Move table and chairs all back to cc.
16. Construction of 2 more Guestrooms
17. Construction of more staff quarters
18. Talk with Julius for student costs, determine uniform costs, check with ACM as far as what student privileges there will be,
19. Gutter CC to avoid rain mess 

5. What does ‘Mutual Accountability’ look like? Human judgment vs. Rules. Vulnerability. Choosing to do what is right even when I won’t benefit or may even suffer.

6. Are we actually willing to be ‘servant leaders’ and put the needs of the TEAM or our co-workers ahead of our own wants and needs? Will we commit to one another to ‘walk the talk’?

 7. Am I willing to commit to pour my life into others through the ministry of AHI?

Yesterday, Christine, a teacher - the vice-principal - of the Secondary School [high school] sat with me on my front porch munching banana bread- both of us stunned, exhausted and empty. All of our visitors have left. No more teams for the rest of the year and schools are closed for the next 3 weeks. What a year.

I moved to Africa with hopes of having a slower life style - it was a good dream. AHI hosted over 9 short term mission teams - 40 some people. Many other missionaries and teams from other organizations dined with us as well. Two more Guest rooms were built and bricks have just been delivered in preparation of building an additional two more Guest rooms by the end of the year. The AHI kitchen is nearly remodeled at the Conference Center. The solar systems for the Guesthouse and Conference Center should be hooked up this next week. A few more weeks of painting and cleaning will have us on target for a new class of students and teams arriving in 2008.

We've also worked hard with our first class of 9 student/staff and continue to prove to ourselves the need for a two year program. We’re learning that it takes a full year of training for our students to really grasp Western service and food. The second year is spent fine tuning and really developing skills. We are also learning that character issues are slow to surface; the transition out of a ‘survival mentality’ takes time, much encouragement and even more tough love. That first year is a kind of honeymoon filled with laughter, hope, developing emotional safety and new foods to sample. The second year is more of a jolt of reality, lots of hard work, lots of confrontations and the fairy princess /muzungo / hoped-for-mom becomes a boss with demands of excellence and high expectations. A few have even learned through warning letters and suspension that blaming others or excusing poor performance on childhood trauma or lack of education doesn’t sit well with this crazy old white woman. But even more have taken wings and are flying so much higher than I ever dared to dream. These are those thrilling moments when I am invited into their hearts and witness them stepping out of survival and into a life filled with possibilities; intimate moments where even they are caught off guard by this surge of excitement at the plan God has for their lives. It makes the lonely times worthwhile. It makes hardships a joy and seems to answer all the questions.

Having the team from my home church, Eastside Foursquare Church, helped to soothe my loneliness and served as a reminder of the need to stay connected to community. I had gotten so busy with visitors and the school that I rarely left my corner of the bush. The EFC team helped me back into the habit of attending the weekly ranch camp fellowship – a student-run Pentecostal revival dance, sing and shout gathering, even walking the mile to a small brick church filled with as many flying wasps as people. And I must admit, I had the very best 55th birthday party with all of them - gosh I love my 50's!

I’ve even started back up the Monday Movie Night for ranch workers. We must have had 30 people on the porch this week to watch Jurassic Park III. The popcorn was eaten in the first five minutes. The video was so old and worn out that you could barely understand the dialog, which didn’t seem to upset anyone – they just talked and shared through the talking parts then screamed  and laughed through the scary action parts. 

It’s been a tough year. It’s been a lonely year. Yet as I walk through the ranch and girls wave and shout at me my African name, Kirabo [gift], or children run up to me grab my hand whispering Hieeeee Maggieeeeee.

Next month we’ll start up another women’s Bible study for teachers and workers and lonely old white ladies.

I can’t imagine calling anywhere else home.

Speaking of home – I will be returning to Washington on October 5 for several weeks. I would love to share more with you on our work here in Uganda. Fund raising is a necessary aspect of my work. If you know of a small group, church, or home gathering that would be interested in learning more please contact me at maggiejosiah@infocom.co.ug   I sure hope to see many of you. Thank you all for your prayers and support – you are truly making a difference in so many lives.  In Christ, m

“We don’t want you in the dark, friends, about how hard it was when all this came down on us ….. It was so bad we didn’t think we would make it. We felt like we’d been sent to death row, that it was all over for us [OK, OK this is a bit dramatic and a slight exaggeration for my situation!]. As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally – not a bad idea since he’s the God who raises the dead. And he did it, rescued us from certain doom. And he’ll do it again, rescuing us as many times as we need rescuing. You and your prayers are part of the rescue operation – I don’t want you in the dark about that either. I can see your faces even now, lifted in praise for God’s deliverance of us, a rescue in which your prayers played such a crucial part.” 2^nd Corinthians 2: 8- ‘The Message’

Did I ever tell you about the screen saver on my computer? Mostly it is a group picture of all us from one of our gatherings in USA. It is an encouragement to staff to see so many of you committed to our work here. When I am stressed though, I switch it to a picture my therapist sent me last year when I first arrived and felt out of my mind for moving to Africa. He sent me a picture of his legs sitting in his therapist chair with his shoes on his office carpet. He figured after 16 years of me hunched over in shame during my sessions in his office that it would be a comforting and familiar sight. I’m never sure whether I should laugh or cry when I see it. It always helps.

            My return to Uganda has been filled with stress, disappointment …. That sense of betrayal that seems to thread itself through my story. Actually it has been for the good – I have become quite acquainted with the emotion of ‘Anger’ – one I have suppressed most of my life. Aside from the emotional drain of experiencing a new and powerful feeling, it has been quite enlivening and motivating as well as an exercise on learning how to be angry without making a fool of myself.

            Overwhelmed and tired upon my return to Uganda, I asked God to open my eyes to any problems or misuse within the staff of AHI. I should have asked for a week’s vacation. Anyway, there was a sense that something was very wrong and I couldn’t see it. I think now upon reflection, that I didn’t want to see it. It is hard to see staff taking advantage of their position and misusing AHI funds and property. My desire that they grow and blossom into their jobs had blinded me. I have had to do some shifting of responsibility, some terminations and many loooong talks with written warnings. We watched ‘Coach Carter’ on Friday as some staff are undergoing their own version of “1000 pushups and 500 suicides” to stay on the AHI Team. Grasping the full meaning and responsibility of ‘Integrity’ where corruption is woven into the fiber of its culture has proven to be quite a challenge. God has been gracious, the cost of damage has been minimal [mostly in garden seeds], but it has slowed down our ability to bring on that first official class of students. I have hired 2 new student/staff to train and pray that we will take on that first class in September.

            ACM has also had its hands full with ‘TIA’ [“This is Africa” I think I am going to name my dog Tia.] problems. Last month, staff driving the truck back to the ranch slipped off the road and flipped over. No one was hurt, but repairs were costly. Then a responsible and trusted staff member became convinced that he was being cursed by a local witch doctor and that his family and he would die if they stayed at the ranch. In his panic, this young man burnt out the newest motor to one of our water pumps. The parts for the other water tank are being held by customs. With both water tanks down, men are having to hand haul water to our homes. I was so exhausted the other evening that I decided to lay down while I filtered water into jerry cans for drinking. My rest turned into a passing out only to be woken the next morning by the sound of my cat DC sloshing through water in my now flooded house. And we still can’t get my electric refrigerator to work on solar – blast. It is always something.

            Construction of the new AHI kitchen at the Conference Center and new rooms to the Guesthouse continue – rather frantically, as I have filled them in 2 weeks and tile is still being laid. AHI continues to be busy with 5 more teams from different parts of America scheduled to arrive through out the summer months. And my Kampala guests are waiting for all these ‘muzungos’ to go home and free up the guesthouse for their use.

            We can’t wait for the Eastside Foursquare Church Team to arrive in July. I may even get to take a few needed days rest and join them on their game park venture. Needless to say though, I have the picture of my therapist’s shoes on my screen saver, leaning and trusting on God to see AHI through this painful season of growth [we really are birthing something brand new]. As Paul, I too am aware and forever grateful for your prayers. I can’t do this alone. I desperately need your prayers. I desperately need my Lord. Love you all. Tired but still standing, m

We drove past a garbage pile on the drive out of Kampala last week. Garbage heaps are a common sight throughout Uganda streets. This one caught my eye because a woman was sitting on top of this mountain of garbage. She looked so dignified perched atop a mound of rotting vegetables, plastic water bottles, ripped cardboard boxes. Stuck in traffic with black exhaust fumes billowing and horns honking, it took me several minutes to realize this beautiful young woman had turned grey and stiff – she was dead.

This is not the first dead person I have seen. This is not the first dead person I have seen on the side of a Ugandan road. Yet, the sight of her broke my heart. She seemed to symbolize the “throw away people” we hurry past every day. How fast do we have to go? The whole world rushing by, did no one else notice? Did anyone miss her? Did anyone care? I am still trying to sort through all my feelings.

A recent article in a Uganda newspaper wrote that for every one job opening there are over 50 Ugandans applying. 320,000 young people graduate and begin seeking employment each year in a country where unemployment is at a critical high. 60% of the staffing in the Hospitality Industry in Uganda is Kenyan, because Ugandans lack the training to work in this Westernized industry. The majority of young women living in the displaced person camps in Northern Uganda turn to prostitution for lack of any other way to provide for themselves. Domestic help, often orphaned children in a country where there are no child labor laws, are horribly abused by their employers, verging on slave trade.

AHI is in full season right now and completely booked solid until mid-September. 6 weeks was not enough time to see everyone I wanted to in America, but too long a time to leave AHI staff alone, especially alone with a team of 11 that had not properly prepared for missions abroad. It astounds me that anyone would come to the mission field without researching the country and ministry they feel ‘called’ to join. I fear we Americans take the sense of ‘call’ far too lightly, unaware of how we actually impact the people around us. I have spent the last few weeks doing damage control and trying to rebuild confidence. We are such a fragile creature.

Perhaps seeing that young woman so casually thrown away with the other refuse was a reminder to me of how important the work we are all doing here in Uganda is; that a vocational school training Ugandans to work in an industry that is dominated by another country due to lack of training is sorely needed. I had not really considered that a little school up in the bush of Uganda could have a great impact. I am beginning to reconsider that paradigm …. And to understand that with God all things really are possible.

A quote by Rabbi Hillel seemed an appropriate title for my last year in Uganda. “I walk, I fall down, I get up; meanwhile I keep dancing.”

I stepped into the Kingdom of God, hesitantly, with a martini in one hand and a CS Lewis book in the other asking me, “What will you do with this man called Jesus?”  Lewis explained that Jesus left no room to be merely considered a great teacher – He is either everything he said he is – the Son of God, the only way to the Father or he was an insane liar.

A journey began the moment I stepped out of my doubts and into this incredible truth, only to be met by more questions, ones that still challenge me 20 years later. What if everything Jesus said was true? What if the Kingdom if God is here on earth right now? What if sacrifice and suffering are the gateway into joy and I must loose my life in order to find it? What if there is truly a war of cosmic spiritual consequences being fought out between the forces of good and evil and though God has already won, He is calling his children to join the battle? What if the Good News really is good news; that broken hearts can be mended, that crippled lives can learn to walk without shame, that eyes blinded by the lies of the enemy can learn to see the truth or that prisoners held captive by fear can be set free? What if God truly has a plan for my life that is critical in the lives of others? What if the mercy Jesus has for me spills over onto the lives of others around me?

Perhaps a better title for this talk comes from a scene in Braveheart where in a dream, the dead father of William Wallace looks at his son and says, “Your heart is free – have the courage to live it”.

I believe that every Christian is called to ‘Mission’. I believe that the abundant life Jesus speaks of is that of finding our place in the world where we will join in community to bring God the greatest glory. Mission is not a task, a duty or an event but an invitation for others to glimpse Jesus living among them. Tim Dearborn writes that, “to engage in mission is to participate in the King’s business. God chooses to let us share in His work by being living signs of the kingdom, to  provide visual aids and to live out previews of ‘coming attractions’ revealing what this Kingdom will look like.” Every Christian then is called to Mission is place of God’s choosing – to live out your best life possible, whether that be within your family, church, neighborhood, business or the remote bush of Africa.

I am one of the most unlikely people to move to Africa as a field missionary. I am a very fearful person and extremely shy. As a child I was severely abused. My father sexually abused me, my mother sexually abused me. My first memories are of being beaten by my mom, Child pornography and prostitution were forced upon me by my parents from my earliest memories lasting well into my 20’s. I still feel quite broken, still very shattered by my past. I am easily overwhelmed. But – What will you do with this man called Jesus? There was nothing sweet or neutral in that question. For me it spoke of stepping out onto an unknown path that would either destroy me or lead to radical change and transformation.

Mark Buchanan in “Your God is too Safe” teaches that “sanctification is the journey into a new land: learning to dwell gladly in the Father’s house … it is a way of life that’s hard to learn. It’s dangerous, difficult terrain… It calls to constant dying…. It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God, this God who claims us so completely, uncompromisingly… this God who brooks no rivals and orders us to tear them down with our own hands. This God calls us out of secluded winepresses and into open battlefields…. who names Himself, who will not grant you every little wish just because it is you wishing it, who will not conform to your image but who has made you in His and is now forming in you sometimes by hammer blows, grappling, hip wrenching, into the image of Christ? The one who says, “You must follow Me. Deny yourself. Take up your cross and follow me.” 

For me, it has been a long journey of tears. It has required stepping into my worst fears and uncertainty; of dying to self over and over and over again. Drawing close to Jesus and allowing him to heal my heart has not led me to the image of the victorious and strong Christian I had hope to become – instead I have joined the ranks of the ‘ wounded soldier in love’s service’. I feel ill-equipped for the task God has called me to as God continues to call me to even greater responsibility and transformation. So, much like little Much-Afraid in Hind’s Feet in High Places, I have grasped the hand of Sorrow and Suffering as I journey to the high places with my Sheppard where I have discovered the key to radical transformation – that my God is madly, passionately, wildly in love with me and that all will be well.

Most of us who are used in pornography don’t escape. Most of us die young, drug overdose, AIDS, suicide. I was given a second chance, my heart was set free. Did I have the courage to live it? I desperately wanted my past to have meaning. 16 years ago I determined that no matter how frightened I was I wanted my own story to end well and answered the call to be a soldier in the King’s army. For nearly 10 years, my marching orders were that of training and discipline, a dry, empty desert experience of learning to live by faith and not by sight, learning to love and be loved in a community of grace. I held onto the thought that if Jesus is who he says he is, he should make a radical difference in my life. The 12 disciples were common simple men who through their relationship with Jesus turned the entire world upside down. Why couldn’t he do the same in my life and in the lives of those I was called to live among?

                    In Galatians 5:1 Paul states that “it is for freedom Christ has set us free”. Jesus first had to free me from my self-imposed prison of fear. But the freedom he granted me was not just to give me life but to teach others to step into their own fears and be set free. In spite of all my fears, I boarded a plane to Uganda for my first mission trip in 2002.  For the next three years, I would return to Uganda annually on a short term mission. As a self-supported missionary I was able to move over full time last April. My staff love that I now live in Uganda and visit America!

I have based my mission on a quote I came across spoken by an old woman, an aborigine in Australia: “If you have come to help me you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us struggle together.”  This last year has been an incredible experience – much harder than I had ever imagined but with much greater reward. The pain of my past remains with me and I continue to walk out this journey in my weaknesses. Jesus comforts me with the knowledge that after his resurrection he still carried his scars for others to touch. At our vocational school, we teach far more than just skills but help our student and staff to dream and hope and trust in a God who passionately loves them. Together we are learning that we are not defined by our past circumstances; that with God’s favor and much hard work each of us can experience the abundant life, live fully alive and become all that God planned us to be.

We pray for the passion and faith to live our lives as Floyd Mc Clung describes in Apostolic Passion – “If you have apostolic passion, you are one of the most dangerous people on the planet. The world no longer rules your heart. You are no longer seduced by getting and gaining but devoted to spreading and proclaiming the glory of God in the nations. You live as a pilgrim, unattached to the cares of this world. You are not afraid of loss. You even dare to believe you may be given the privilege of dying to spread His fame on the earth. The Father’s passions have become your passions. You find your satisfaction and significance in Him. You believe He is with you always, the end of life itself. You are sold out to God and you live for the Lamb. Satan fears you and the angels applaud you. Your reward is the look of pure delight you anticipate seeing in His eyes when you lay at His feet.’

‘Your heart is free – have the courage to live it’

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." Robert Frost

This quote has really taken on a deep meaning for me. Especially when I go to scratch an itch on my head and a bug falls out of my hair. I truly long for a hot bath. I love my home here in Uganda, but there are moments when it feels like a nightmare camping trip that won't end.

Honestly, though, the last 8 months have been an incredible experience. I can't even begin to explain how grateful I am for all of your support and prayers. As an FYI - our thief that I feared was going to torment us again, has quietly disappeared without incident.

I spent a very quiet Christmas. Both Cornerstone Development and ACM, close for the holidays with most staff going back to their villages and families for 3 weeks. The ranch is so quiet - and a welcome rest and time to catch up on all the bookwork needed for end of year financials. Steve Lowber is graciously helping me put that all together. Thank you Steve! Let me know if you would want to review this information.

Christmas day, I cooked for the 4 young men who have stayed behind to watch over African Children Missions properties. We ate steak and Lasagna and watched hours of movies on my laptop. Then got together the next day to finish off the lasagna and watch more movies as that is an unusual treat out here in the bush. I fear the whole meal was a bit unusual for them - many Ugandans that live out in the bush use their fingers to eat with - one of the boys who cares for the horses at the ranch had the most difficult time using silverware. Poor guy, he finally gave up on using the knife, just stabbed the whole piece of meat and bit off chuncks - we all cheered him on.

I'll be returning to the USA at the end of Feb. for a one month visit. Will be looking for opportunities to share our work - if your church or small group might be interested please let me know. I am also praying that someone might have a car that I could borrow so as to avoid the cost of renting one.

It's been interesting to think about returning to WA. I so enjoyed having Kristen Booth from Eastside Church visit earlier this month. But got to thinking when I heard how often she talks to friends in the States. I've been here 8 months and haven't talked to anyone in WA. So what's that about?? And the closer it gets to my return, the more unsettled I feel. Am so awed with my ability to live in denial. I think I fear returning or even talking to any of you because it is so painful - I miss you all so much. I spent the first few months crying and feeling like you all had been ripped away from me. I think I am fearful of connecting with all of that again. I am going to have to pick up that phone soon, I should know better than to try to avoid pain and loss. I know I do feel blessed to have you all as friends, even though it hurts to not have you close by.

Have a wonderful new year! See you all very soon.  With much love, m

November 9, 2006

“Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed”. Romans 8:14

Yesterday was the first day in months that was slow enough to sit and be still. A group of students in a blizzard of bright colored clothing stood stooped and swayed to the soothing sounds of their pangas slash, slash, slashing back the bush out in front my home. My home. An odd thought for me, but this certainly has become my home. Every time a new visitor prepares to go back to the USA, I still feel a flood of relief that I get to stay.

The last few months have been filled with the highest highs and lowest lows. Corruption is a constant problem in most developing countries, but one is never quite prepared to face the rush of emotions when discovering it in your own organization. The ACM bookkeeper left us without notice and an accounting nightmare. Then, the African Children’s Mission staff brought me firm evidence of theft occurring within our Children’s Feeding Program. Betrayal has been a profound theme in my own story, so the entire process of confrontation and finally dismissal was a distressing roller coaster that left me exhausted and wondering who could really be trusted. Living in distrust is a miserable existence.

“I call heaven and earth to witness this day against you that I have set before you life and death, the blessings and the curses; therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live.”  Deuteronomy 30:19

We as a community have chosen life. Each of us, clinging to the promises of God and the sense of ‘call’ upon our lives, has had to struggle in that tension of ‘against all hope, in hope believed’. It’s been a painful experience. Not only the betrayal but the disappointment in my own reaction to it all as one day overwhelmed, I overreacted to an incident with ACM staff and spoke in harsh anger to several men, then found it impossible to stop crying for the next 24 hours. Asking for forgiveness is so humbling. We laugh now at that day. Not sure if we are any stronger or wiser, but we all agree we are much more real and intimate with one another now. On Thursday November 21^st, AHI will host another Community Gathering – a bull roast with chapattis and African tea – and honor God for his faithfulness.

God too has delighted in our choice of ‘Life’, blessing us with miracles in the midst of all this chaos. Many of the staff in both ACM and AHI had decided that ‘choosing life’ means offering service to others as a volunteer – without compensation, an idea quite foreign to Uganda. In a desire to engage our sponsored children with more love and relationship, several staff have begun ‘clubs’ – one in music and one for soccer. Hakim, who I have written about in the past, is quite involved in the soccer program. But a soccer club requires money for balls, uniforms and equipment – it seemed an impossible dream, but one we all began praying about.

Imagine our awe, when a visiting team member of Restore International asked if we had any need of soccer balls – he had brought a suitcase of balls over with him!! Poor man – I grabbed him and ran him all the way back to my house, screaming for Hakim. Not aware of our prayers, I am sure he was wondering if my label at the ranch of the ‘crazy old white woman’ was true. Hakim and I just kept holding onto his hands jumping up and down as he told us of his involvement and love of soccer. Hakim was stunned and reminded me that it was just a few months ago I had each AHI staff write down a goal, a dream they really wanted to achieve, but didn’t think would ever happen – Hakim’s was a soccer club. Needless to say we had to stage a soccer match against the Americans – for many of our visitors that game was the highlight of their trip! This afternoon marks the first official soccer practice with the children.

After sixteen years of intensive therapy several times a week, I had often wondered what life would be like without the constant probing and focus on my past. I imagined there would be less pain in my life – that therapy kept the wound open and hurting. I’ve discovered out here in the bush of Africa, that the pain remains. When I am able to sit quietly before my Lord, I still sense parts of me screaming in terror.  But there has been a shift, a change. Perhaps I am coming to terms with the pain and that I will have to wait for that day when God will wipe away every tear. For tears lie just below the surface. So what has changed is not the deep within, but the surface. Today I walked by a watering hole with students washing their clothes and was greeted by my African name, ‘Kirabo’ [meaning ‘gift’]. And here in Africa my home is filled with laughter and singing. Yes, tears lie just below the surface, but the surface is of great joy. And together we as a community are learning to dream dreams and against all hope, in hope believe.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ONE AND ALL. WE LOVE YOU AND APPRECIATE YOUR PRAYERS, SUPPORT AND FAITHFULNESS TO OUR WORK HERE IN UGANDA. MAY GOD CONTINUE TO RICHLY BLESS EACH OF YOU.   THE STAFF AT AFRICAN HOSPITALITY INSTITUTE, UGANDA, EAST AFRICA.

A simple, quiet life was all I’ve ever wanted. It was never my intent to step into destiny or have to grow into an old warrior committed to an invisible battle. I am not what one would call brave. I spent most of my life just trying to be safe.  I don’t know if the Lord speaks to you the way he does me – the scriptures [front page of blog] of the sinking boat and ‘Why can’t you trust me?’ pierce my heart. I want to trust, I really do. It’s just that the more I trust, the more out of control my life becomes. I hate chaos; hate being so darn afraid all the time.

 I found myself quaking when the words of my morning devotional on ‘Fortitude’ jumped off the page and grabbed my throat with cold, strangling fingers – “no matter the cost, heavy load, intense pressure, not wanting and always trust.” I wanted to run – sometimes I try to hide. But it’s no use I always come back – where else can I go?

I recently learned that this area of Central Uganda has been steeped in witchcraft and even cannibalism for centuries. Someone forgot to tell the bugs that this is no longer fashionable. It’s rainy season and I am being eaten alive. Sleeping at night reminds me of the American Express commercial of the remote tropical vacation with all the bugs attacking the mosquito net.

 Life at the vocational school has gotten very busy. People from Kampala come up for lodging and meals frequently, so much for my slow start. My hot water tank exploded again that’s after we had just dug up all the water pipes to the house because they were packed solid with teeny tiny pieces of charcoal. It’s as if some foul spirit has been sitting outside using tweezers to drop bits of coal into my water system – bizarre, the only opening to the pipes are 30 feet up in the air. When that didn’t make me out of my mind crazy, this nasty imp implodes my hot water tank just as we are preparing for visitors to arrive for dinner. We all just stood outside dazed watching water blast out of concrete. I was certain we were going to have a major explosion. We are all seriously praying the blood of Christ over this structure as this only seems to happen when guest are arriving.

The African Children’s Mission bookkeeper and head bottle washer when Wayne is on furlough, abandoned ship and left in search of greener pastures 2 weeks before payroll. I have been praying for change within ACM for years – and I am sure I must have mentioned my desire to bond with the staff. Shoot, I have to begin paying more attention to my prayers. Anyway, the heads of the Children Department stepped in to create a payroll accounting. These are wonderful, relational young men so I should have been suspect as to their analytical accounting skills. Yet, seeing them so relaxed as the month end approached I figured, no problem. When I asked them for the financial report of spending to send stateside they handed me a wad of receipts. I spent the next 2 days muttering the words ‘fortitude and trust’ while sorting, recording receipts and trying to unravel the mysterious payroll account. Now for those of you who know me, know of my distain for numbers, sitting still for any length of time and how money triggers me – can you imagine that God decided to have me be the most qualified to not only financially oversee the vocational school but to also now track all of ACM – God does have a very sick sense of humor – ‘no matter the cost, intense pressure, so as to not be wanting, trust, trust, trust’.

I have been having a delightful time sharing with my African friends the concept of ‘FGO’ – which I learned in the smoked filled halls of AA back in my drinking and drugging days. An FGO is short for F……..ing Growth Opportunity [can I write that in a Christian Ministry update? Wel,l I have chosen to live in Africa, so everyone must already knows I am a bit insane]. An FGO is a necessary part of the healing and redemptive process of sanctification. It is through the FGO’s of life we develop fortitude and become the warriors God created us to be.

Needless to say, I am clinging to the side of my storm tossed ship believing that Jesus will calm the seas and trusting as I fight the urge to throw up. Ahhhh, Africa. It’s always something.

Major Areas of Ministry Focus:

1. Construction
1. Staff Quarters for 2 AHI staff completed, will be adding three more rooms in Jan 07
2. Building for Bakery with African mud oven completed
3. Conference Center construction started – purchased a stainless steel free standing pot washing sink – we are looking so professional!!!!!! [thank you!]
2. Farming
1. Continued expansion of garden with goal to sell produce to local community in attempt to encourage goal of becoming a financially self-sustaining ministry
2. Entering Rainy Season so planting of new seeds and grown seedlings
3. Installation of additional rain catch tank to assist in watering
4. Purchase and planting of fruit trees around mission home and staff quarters
3. Vocational School

a. Staff is currently being trained with goal that they become future teachers, incorporating Biblical principals and character development into daily work.

b.     Hired part-time teacher to teach adult literacy twice a week – can foresee him working with us full time in the future and include math as subject as well.

c.       Continued with 2 cooking classes per week

d. Continued with 1 cooking or inspirational movie per week

e.       Increasing no. of Kampala guests to eat/lodge at AHI, for staff to gain experience

f.         Increasing sales of bakery items to community – Isa’s large bucket of over 50 spiced mandazi [doughnuts] sold out in one day [100 schillings ea] with requests for more at the secondary school shop!! Again, attempting to grow into self-sustain ministry

g.     Invited Guests to participate in cooking classes as potential fund raising effort

4. ACM Staff
1. Continued hosting ACM staff meeting once a week
2. Have begun working with staff on Biblical leadership skills as well as encouraging staff to incorporate more prayer and personal resposibility into ACM culture.
5. Community Development
1. Received approval to provide ‘ACM Staff and Family Movie Night’ Tuesday evenings –to be shown on my porch as evangelism tool, AHI provides pop corn and water.
2.  Hosted a Construction Staff Thank You Celebration -  providing a full African meal cooked by AHI Staff for Hamid’s construction Staff as well as ACM Dept. Heads.
3. 1^st Monthly Prayer Walk to begin in September.
4. Weekly ACM prayer meeting at headquarters every Friday afternoon
6. ACM Guesthouse Lodging and Meals
1. Increasing sales as with other sales – attempting to encourage and model ability to raise as much funds in Africa so as not to be dependent upon USA funds in future.
2.  Coordinating with ACM staff – Charles, Head of Children’s Ministries – to provide non-ACM visitors ‘home visit opportunities’ as a means to promote and educate visitors of ACM’s work with vulnerable children in central Uganda.
3. Provided over 40 individual meals to  Western visitors
4. Preparing for Timmis lunch on Oct. 4^th
5. Preparing for Restore Ministries [20 visitors staying at C’stone cottages and ACM Guesthouse] Oct. 24-28 visit –AHI will provide lodging and meals.
7. Accounting
1. continue working with Steve Lowber in developing Financial Statements and budgets
2.  oversee all expenses paid out, track all bookkeeping recordings,

Bless you all for you commitment to assist us here on the field of Uganda. With gratitude, m

August 25, 2006

I should have known something was about to happen when all of my morning devotions spoke of seeing ‘The Unseen’ in the midst of hard circumstances. Last week I was laid flat by my first taste of malaria. There is no cure or vaccine for malaria, though I am taking a medication that is to help fight off the disease. It is a most unforgettable experience to lie in bed shaking with chills while running a fever of 104, convinced that the headache will either blind or rip open your head. Getting on the other side of a bout with malaria leaves one grateful for health and praying that the Gates Foundation discovers a workable vaccine soon!

 Driving the other day with Hamid, head of all ACM construction, I was as usual trying to pick his brain on how best to teach within the African culture while revealing the love and hope of Jesus Christ. Hamid is a strong leader and one of my most trusted allies here at the ranch; a true warrior. He is also Muslim with 2 wives and quite outspoken which is unusual for most Ugandans. I am always assured of an interesting comment or different point of view. I mentioned a conversation I had with a Uganda friend in Seattle where I was encouraged to make ‘teaching creativity’ my highest priority. I was hoping for practical solutions. Hamid’s response was that I would have “to be quite creative in teaching creativity”.

Panicked by this thought and its lack of practical structure, I pulled out my Artist Way and Waking the Dead; books that have spoken creativity into my life, and breathed in their healing Language of the Heart. The Language of the Heart is transforming and always offer healing and hopes even though it is one of the most difficult languages for man to be fluent in. One is not only required to learn new words and their meanings, but to allow the seed of these new words to take root in one’s heart and change it from the inside out. It is a slow, difficult and painful process of not only learning something foreign to most of mankind, but also in allowing something radical and unsafe to be placed into a self-protected and closed heart. I spent much of my learning, either angry with myself for not ‘getting it’ or despairing that I would ever change and be able to speak such words with understanding. The most amazing aspect of this learning process is the sense of waking up centuries later knowing not how you changed but knowing that everything about you is different and wondering why it took so long to grasp something so simple and beautiful. I suspect that this is the ‘Renewing of your mind’ Paul spoke of in Romans 12.

Yesterday, God graced me with the Gift of Sight beyond the Veil; one of those rare moments when He opens wide the spiritual realm and speaks directly to you in the Language of the Heart. Our inspirational movie of the month was ‘Iron Will’, one of my favorites. From the beginning of the movie, it was as if God grabbed my heart and kept throwing me back into time. I remembered my first viewing of the movie. I was living in a Women’s Shelter 11 years ago. My husband invited me as we were trying to reconcile a troubled and violent marriage. I had just begun to learn the Language of the Heart but wasn’t very committed. It seemed to frightening and none of it made sense. I didn’t even understand how this movie spoke to my heart. I just knew that when I left that theatre something inside of me yearned so deeply for change that I was more willing to face fears. The ‘Pain of remaining the same’ finally became greater than my ‘fear of change’. Over the years, I have watched this movie and it has always left me with that same feeling. But it has always been just a feeling, something elusive and not understandable. Yesterday, as I sat with eight young men and women who have lived their lives out in the bush of Africa without electricity, much less a TV – I heard the Language of the Heart being spoken clearly – of dreams, risk and integrity; of living within a community of love. I heard my Adonai, my Creator; tell me that by teaching the Language of the Heart, creativity will be taught, hearts will be transformed, lives will be released into all that they were meant to be and Love will conquer evil. And though I have much more to learn, I understood.

My young Uganda Student-Staff are very quiet after these movies – they assure me their quietness is not out of disinterest but more out of shock at my teaching methods, their good fortune and the fear of doing anything that might make them awaken from this wonderful dream. I told them I was not going to disappear, and really needed more feedback. This morning Hakim spoke up. Now, it’s important to remember that when Hakim first began to work for AHI he had just walked away from his dream of being a paid professional soccer player – there was never any pay for Ugandan players no matter how talented. His father had eight wives and being too poor he never finished primary school and was ashamed over not being able to read. Being as the life expectancy in Uganda is around 40 years, he saw himself in his mid-20 as too old for hope; dreams were only for younger men. Much of his pay goes to younger siblings school fees so that they may have a chance.

In his gentle manner, he wanted to thank all of us who are making AHI happen and assure us that he is learning so much – not only about food and how to work in kitchen though that is wonderful. He wanted all of us to know that he is learning so much about not being afraid to dream …… that he is going to have to ‘struggle’ to make those dreams come true, that he should never ‘give up’ no matter how hard it becomes and that one day those dreams can become real –even for him.

It has been so painful learning the Language of the Heart, who would have thought it could be so fun to teach!

 Love you all. Under His Wing, m